Saturday, January 16, 2010

Los perros ladrones y la Ley de Murphy

Sin la atención de su amo, un perro encerrado en el patio de una casa o en el balcón de un departamento puede estar fácilmente dos horas ladrando sin parar. Cuando este tipo de situaciones se torna recurrente, genera el enojo de los vecinos más próximos, quienes tratan infructuosamente de concentrarse en sus actividades cotidianas.

Aquí en mi barrio he llegado a registrar -con cronómetro y calculadora en suma constante en mano y por parte de un solo perro- un récord de 150 ladridos por minuto. Eso equivale a 2,5 ladridos por segundo. Imagine a alguien tratando de estudiar, leer o dormir, o algún músico tratando de grabar algo con esa cantidad de ladridos en el ambiente, que por lo demás afecta una superficie de 100 metros a la redonda como mínimo.

¿Cuál es la solución al problema? Esto podría solucionarse de varias maneras, algunas de ellas:

1. Matar al perro.
2. Usar tapones en los oídos.
3. Resignarse y tener paciencia.
4. Cronometrar la "sesión" de ladridos y determinar su respectiva tasa de ladridos por segundo.

La alternativa 1 queda descartada inmediatamente por impulsiva, egoísta e inmoral. La alternativa 2 puede causar un malestar aún mayor, ya que el individuo, al estar con su audición condicionada, comienza a percibir el sonido de su organismo (latidos, respiración, el tragar saliva, etc). La alternativa 3 resulta contraproducente por lo impredecible: el animal puede pasar la tarde entera ladrando.

Finalmente, con respecto a la alternativa 4, Ud. se preguntará: ¿Pero cómo puede ser eso una solución directa al problema?. Pues bien, por experiencia, le puedo garantizar una altísima probabilidad de que el perro deje de ladrar, aunque usted no lo crea, EN EL MOMENTO EXACTO que empieza a correr el cronómetro. Sí, uno de los pocos casos en que la "Ley de Murphy" funciona a favor del afectado.

Si no funciona, igualmente prosiga y haga el cálculo. Acto seguido infórmese de lo que la Ley de ladridos establece al respecto: "Si el can ladrase a razón de 30 ladridos por minuto (1 ladrido cada 2 segundos) o más, el afectado podrá entablar una demanda civil por ruidos molestos en contra del animal en el Juzgado de Policía Local correspondiente a su comuna, adjuntando necesariamente material audiovisual como evidencia, y al menos un testigo. El perro deberá ser notificado a la brevedad posible y citado en primera instancia a un comparendo de avenimiento. Si el can no asistiere al primer comparendo, será declarado en rebeldía. Y si bajo cualquier motivo, razón o circunstancia el animal estuviera imposibilitado de presentarse en el juzgado y/o de dar declaración durante el comparendo por sus propios medios, será el amo quien deberá responder solidariamente, sacrificándose, luego de sacrificar al animal."

6 Comments:

Blogger *hatching-nature* said...

sorry pero vendra una :D!

2/2/10 8:10 AM  
Blogger Daniel Larraín said...

Jaja, excelente, no lo había leído.

Otra aplicación positiva de la ley de Murphy ha sido una que he puesto en práctica con amigos fumadores haciendo dedo en la carretera austral, donde uno puede pasarse horas esperando que pase un auto. Para terminar con la espera, una buena técnica es prender un cigarro, lo cual activa la ley de Murphy, haciendo aparecer automóviles inmediatamente. Esta situación obliga a la persona a apagar el cigarro (es el lado negativo de esta ley - "justo cuando prendí el cigarro..."), el cual es sacrificado por un bien mayor, que es el de conseguir transporte para poder continuar con el viaje.

8/3/10 1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

incitalo aque ladre mas por segundos y perdera la respiracion y asi el conocimiento.asegurate que tenga pulso.

14/10/10 11:45 PM  
Anonymous gloria said...

tírale un pedazo de carne, luego una pelota y luego un peluche...
te aseguro que se calla

11/1/11 6:13 AM  
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